How children succeed 6

     "Sure, a trait can backfire," Witter said. " Too much grit, like Okonkwo, you start to lose your ability to have empathy for other people. If you're so gritty that you don't understand why every one's complaining about how hard things are, because nothing's hard for you, because you're Mr. Grit, then you're going to have a hard time being kind. Even love- being too loving might make you the kind of person who can get played."(p99, para2)

       I think it is universal wisdom that reaching out too much is worse than reaching little short off.  Even though it is said that too much of trait can backfire, I wish my sons live with full of grit till their 30's or 40's. Hopefully, they can learn loosening down the tension later when it's necessary.

How Children Succeed 5

Intelligence is malleable. It can change as per how you do mindset. One experiment prove it. One student group in low-income neighborhood was matched with a college student as a mentor who regularly communicate with students to build growth mindset, such as "Intelligence is not a finite endowment, but rather an expandable capacity tat increased with mental work."
Another group was regularly heard from their mentor fixed mindset such as that drug use could interfere with academic achievement. A year later, the test score and GPA of a growth mindset group rise significantly.
I felt little nervous about this identity and mindset theory, because I'm not sure what kind of mindset message I've been sending to my kids. I certainly need to be more conscious about it.